Rachel Cohen, OTR/L

Fostering childhood self-esteem is beneficial for helping children to gain confidence and have improved social and emotional health through childhood and into adulthood.

Childhood Self-Esteem:

Self-esteem plays a very important role in how children develop skills and participate in their daily occupations (ie. activities they need or want to do, such as play, self-care, school, social, and family activities). Self-esteem is defined as confidence in one’s own worth or ability. Self-esteem facilitates positive relationship-building, handling of challenging situations, overall regulation, thoughtful decision-making, and more.

The following are areas that impact, and suggestions for, improving a childhood self-esteem:

PAST EXPERIENCES:

Children often look at past experiences when determining their ability to complete a given task. Past experiences with similar situations impact whether or not they think they will be able to complete the task with good results. Children may avoid or resist a certain task if they have had previous negative experiences, or no experience at all, with a similar task. To help build positive experiences around new, challenging, or less-preferred tasks, provide increased support initially, make the experience fun, and celebrate even small amounts of engagement/effort.

OBSERVATIONS:

When children watch others complete a task, they are making comparison’s on how well they will be able to do the task. For example, if a child sees a demonstration of someone writing their name with near-perfect letter formation, they may automatically know they cannot do the same, and avoid the task all together. When demonstrating tasks, model making mistakes and either being okay with or working though imperfections.

SOCIAL IMPACT AND CONNECTIONS:

Positive social impact and connections facilitate positive self-esteem. Help children gain a sense of their social impact by highlighting a particular action they did that helped someone else. Express gratitude for shared social experiences by saying “Thank you!” throughout the day. If questions seem to increase anxiety or avoidance, use statements to connect instead. For example, instead of "How was school?", try "It looks like you've had a good day.", inviting your child to share more if they are up for it. When possible, block out 10 minutes to play with your child in a way in which they get to completely control the play. Go along with their ideas, without demands or distractions.

STRENGTHS-BASED INCLUSION:

Incorporate strengths to provide positive opportunities for children to be included in activities. If a child does not quite have the attention required to follow soccer game rules, can the game be modified to have them as a “distractor”? Does a child prefer numbers over competitive physical activity and interested in being score-keeper? Are their certain skills a child is still working on, such as passing a ball, that they might like to practice in a more controlled/comfortable environment first? Facilitate positive engagement/interaction with strengths first, to help build self-esteem. Gradually build upon other skills, at the child’s comfort, to increase self-esteem for further engagement.

SENSORY AND EMOTIONAL REGULATION:

Children with sensory differences tend to experience stress, fear, and anxiety at a greater rate and intensity than same-aged peers. These emotions can undermine feelings of self-esteem. Try to identify and modify situations to best meet their sensory needs. If possible, invite your child’s opinion about sensory aspects of an activity. Create space for hard emotions, such as saying "I'm sorry you're going through this. I am here for you."

Occupational therapy can help develop childhood self-esteem through individualized therapeutic activities. Occupational therapy can also help families and caregivers find ways to further support childhood self-esteem.

Fostering childhood self-esteem