Mealtime Connections: Tips from a feeding therapist
Megan Banham, CCC-SLP
Did you grow up in a household where you weren’t allowed to leave the table until you “cleaned your plate?” Or maybe you couldn’t leave the table until you took “3 more bites of _____?” When parents do this, it is being said out of love- they want what is best for their child, but in reality this is not a healthy approach when trying to get a child to eat. Continue reading for tips from a feeding therapist on how to establish mealtime connections, and ultimately grow healthy relationships between kids and food.
Mealtime Pressure
What happens when we pressure, force, or coerce kids during mealtime?
We don’t know how a food tastes or feels in a child’s mouth. Did you know that 4-14% of the population has a gene that makes cilantro taste just like soap? Yuck! There is no way for us to experience sensory input the same as someone else. This includes taste, smell, texture, etc.
By forcing kids to eat we are telling them that we know more about their bodies than they do. We are overriding their ability to learn how to read the various cues that their body is giving them, such as hunger. “...every time we override a child’s internal cues by encouraging them to eat…we are hampering their ability to listen to their body and self-regulate effectively. This is especially critical when children are very young and their habits and behaviors are still very much in development (Jo Cormack, 2017).” We want kids to trust what their bodies are telling them because it is important for so much more than just food.
We want a child to eat because they want to (internal motivation), not because we make them. If you reflect on a time that you were forced to do something, you may recall feeling anxious, scared, angry, etc. When we force kids to eat, they may be feeling something similar. Mealtime should be an enjoyable and positive experience for a child. A time where they feel safe and are in control (autonomy).
Developing Internal Motivation
“Internal motivation” refers to the drive or desire that comes from within an individual to engage in a particular behavior or activity. We want a child to participate in a meal or eat a food because they choose to. Children may be motivated to eat by:
Hunger
Curiosity
Novelty
Sensory properties of foods (Flavor, texture, etc.)
Enjoyment
Interest to be with others or imitate a mealtime partner (social)
Enjoyable mealtimes and giving a child autonomy around food supports a child’s internal motivation.
General Mealtime Connection Tips
Ideas for when your child is having a hard time with food:
Gently remind them that they do not have to eat a food if they don’t want to
Redirect to another food on their plate
Model eating the undesired food
Explore the food or play with it
Put the food on another plate or in a designated “bye-bye” bowl